Turn the page....

I just got home from school. I finished my last final today. I hope I pass Calculus and never have to see it AGAIN. And as much as I don't want to go, I have to work later today. I currently am pretty disappointed with my entire situation so far in life. I have to find other ways to stay motivated. Until then, I will rant.

I do not like college. I do not like the City of Memphis. Put the two together, and you have one big clusterfuck of a city and college. When I went to community college for a while, I had a great time. Community college is full of adults who want to learn. They have jobs and kids - and motivation. The teachers are great, and everyone is there to help - or so it seems. At the University, no one cares. Not the students, not the teachers...no one really cares - unless you play a sport. Not a semester has gone by that something hasn't happened or gone wrong. I am extremely organized, and flexible when it comes to stuff like school, but they are always at fault for some mess up. I can't stay motivated with such a slack school. I cannot honestly say that I am on the level I should be when it comes to my education. Alot of what I know has come from books and tv pertaining to Finance. My school knowledge barely compares to that. How weak is that???

There is honestly too much to write. If I had a way, I would transfer to another school. Memphis is not necessarily known for it's academics. Every day I go to work, and even when I worked full time a few years ago, I drive through a neighborhood by my house. It has humongous houses with big beautiful yards. For years this has been motivation for me to better myself through school, in hopes of possibly being successful enough to have something like that some day. I find myself wanting to settle for where I am at now, to go back to work and not finish school because it is so rediculus. I know that if/when I do graduate, I will not have received the equivalent education that other people at other Universities have received. I am basically paying for a degree, not the actual higher level of education. It irks me every day, and will continue to in the days to come.

Anyways. I wasn't going to go on anymore trips this year with Jerry, but I think I have changed my mind. I would really like the chance just to get away for a day or two, cause I need it for my sanity. I have had no time lately with finals and all. The house is a MESS. Now that I have a break, the last thing I want to do is clean, and since I am out of school next week, I got scheduled to work almost every day! I could have really used the break more than the money. Why did I go back to work again? I think the question should be, why did I go back THERE? I don't hate it, but it sucks how it is always changing. I like stability in the work place, and in retail, there is none. There is always something. I don't even think I like people like I used to. Like I said in an earlier blog - I need to stop caring so much. No one really cares about me, or what i'm doing, so why put in so much effort for someone else? In one of my classes last semester, we watched a video on some marketing company. I can't remember the name, but the video was about their practices, and their office. They had the coolest offices ever. The environment seemed so relaxed and friendly. One lady didn't have enough money for her honeymoon, so they gave her a honeymoon. Their idea is that happy workers are much more productive than unhappy ones. Fallon was the name of the company. I remembered! But yea. Everything about that place is what I envision in a future employer, and I know that will not happen in Memphis. : (